Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Everything in reverse

As I was going through the manoeuvres of starting for India, I could not dissociate from the fact that I would be doing them all in reverse a few weeks later. This mental preparation does not help, cos I don't think it's even a valid preparation, it is just a reality check. Just an exercise to keep the feet grounded. 

Goodbyes are always hard. I should have become an expert at them now, but no portion of practice makes me one. The farewells to family was tear laden. It was like everything going back. Like a movie film being rewound and the characters ridiculously going through the motions backwards. But  the emotions are ten fold heavier. I might be stretching the metaphor but we landed in Bhubaneswar at 8 in the evening and we were starting around 8. The take off from Delhi to Bhubaneswar was at 5 and so was the return from Delhi to Abu Dhabi. The timing seemed to be rubbing off a lot. I consciously reminded myself of the  feeling of quiet joy that was there two weeks ago. Just to remember and reminisce the good parts. But deep melancholy just kept washing over and what I could only feel was how far I was going, from my family 's touch. From their close physical presence. From the big house at the end of a dusty lane which is still home. 

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