And it all comes tumbling down
It’s the last month of the year and things are all over the place :’(
We started taking steps forward as Amma’s return to India drew closer. We got the kid enrolled into a nursery, started planning our routine around it and got ready to handle it all ourselves (mil was a massive help over the past 10 months even though many a times we might have taken it for granted.)
We went ahead with a major assumption (which is risky in all sorts of projects – be it in life or at work) – that the kid was one helluva gregarious girl who would take to day care like a fish to water. Parents – if you think you know your kid through and through (for you created that little rascal did ‘nt you? ) think again. Its something like code - you may feel it’s the most awesome-st thing since Google and users click on one innocuous button and all comes tumbling down. Same with Chiyaa and the nursery set up. She cried the first day, the second day, the third day, the fourth day and next just fell ill with a raging fever. We were left with eight days with Amma and 10 days from a vacation. We decided to let her recuperate at home. Yes – this was going to take her off the day care routine, it was going to mess her system up – but then how could we let a sick child go to nursery. We will take things for better or for worse once they come.
I elicited feedback from all parents. The group was divided. There was one whose kids were the fishy ones – who took to nursery like water. (Oh how deluded was I to believe that I belonged here) There were the others who had lost count of how much their kids had cried – they had cried for ever. There was a parent who put it like an almanac entry – her son had cried from Vijay Dashami till Pongal! In plain speak for 3 months. Sister in law revealed her daughter used to cry and puke. She was a proper drama queen. Even though she enjoyed it, since she was made to sleep there, she thought she was staying there forever and would throw up a fit to take her nap. I even consulted my uncle who is a doctor (I do not want to break my kid’s spirits after all). Surprise surprise – he said the process was akin to getting vaccines (huh I think rationalisation runs in the family – I had literally thought of the same parallel myself. Or does he secretly read my blog :S ) I have been given estimates which ranged from 1 week (very optimistic) to 3 months (realistic). Some go as far as 6 months to a year (very pessimistic).
I have started searching up nannies and hmm well they are costly! I have even dilly dallied with the option of quitting work (Which well-meaning mother has’nt. I think its one of those tests :|) K and I sit up at 3 in the morning and talk about day care. It's the only topic we have spoken of in the past 3 weeks! I have had quite some peppy adages thrown. I loved the way an acquaintance of mine put it – as per the western school of thought, women do not give up on their jobs so easily. They plough through inconveniences and stay strong on their decision. Their strength instils the same rigidity in all around them including their kids. So they do see light at the end of it. Indian mommies on the other are so weakened by the tears of their dears that they just flip everything else out of the window. Mil said ‘We can't bear a child crying and they don’t mind a child crying’ Wow! Brilliant isn’t it?! Sil said, I needed me to be strong and one day I would be laughing about it! I am so so so waiting for that proverbial day!